Making peace

Tuesday Ryan and I spent the day together. It was Ryan’s birthday and the day prior was our 13th anniversary. We spent it at my Grandmother’s funeral and on the road home. It was a long day, a sad day, but I spent it with my family and was grateful to be with them since our summer is coming to a close. My grandmother was 91 – she lived independently, she was sharp as a tack and in relatively good health. Until the last 6 months, she had been a very healthy lady indeed. She was married to the love of her life for over 60 years. She had 6 kids, 16 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren. She was surrounded by her family went she took her final breath and went into the arms of our Lord. We should all be so lucky to live such a life.

Ryan does not like to work on his birthday. I’m not sure when it started, but it happened early on. Like grade school early on. Like I won’t deliver papers on my birthday, early on. For most of his adult life, he’s taken the day off. For the last couple of years, being self employed and being who he is, he hasn’t taken the day off and usually the day goes horribly awry. This year he decided to install two light fixtures for a friend of mine in their new home. Easy.

We started the day off with a call from our agency. We talked to the Ethiopian programs director because we just were getting stressed about court closing coming up and nothing happening to propel us forward in the process. We also didn’t feel like we were getting straight communication and wanted details. If I can’t control something, give me details so I can better understand it. We ended that conversation with a better knowledge of what is going on, but in tears because it wasn’t the answers we were hoping for. We’ve been living day to day. Walking on eggshells from 11-1, because that’s when ET (Ethiopia) is closed down for the day and phone calls and emails about news start from our agency. Everyday I would sit in front of my computer refreshing my email or walking around with my phone, waiting. The anxiety I feel, the stress of wonder and potential travel. It was stealing the joy from my time at home with my kids. It has been agonizing. I’ve been half of a mom and I feel awful for it. I asked Jon the other day if he’s had a good summer, with tears in my eyes, praying that he’d say yes. Jon is my sensitive one, so he quickly picked up my mood and gave me a big hug and told me he has had a great summer and not to worry. Oh the boy!

Back to our day. So we got to my friends gorgeous new house and begin installing the light fixtures. The first one went up without a hitch. The second one was tricky and involved two trips to a equipment rental facility because the light was 18 feet in the air over an “L” shaped staircase. My blood pressure was through the roof as I helped Ryan build scaffolding, trying not to bump into freshly painted walls. We finished it with minimal bumps and the lights are gorgeous. What we thought would take 3 hours took 6, and by the end of the day we were drained and defeated. We came home and thanked Jon for keeping everyone alive, fed and well and we cleaned up and went to Red Robin for our typical birthday dinner. During the birthday song Ryan and Penny got up and danced. Drew ran to the bathroom to hide, Jon and I buried our faces in our napkins. Clearly the boys take after my more tentative side when it comes to birthday-restaurant-singing.

We took the boys out to get a few back to school items and the shopping therapy was what I needed to bring a little joy to my day. I made peace with the fact that we wouldn’t be traveling until August, if then and pulled my big girl pants up and moved on. Nothing I could do about any of it.

I woke up Wednesday feeling refreshed, I tackled a million projects around the house and felt like good ‘ol Annie was back. I’ve been hired to do more painting at my pediatrician’s office, adding to the border I did a few years ago.  Then I pulled together a few Polyvore sets for a couple of Ryan’s clients, which are virtual tack boards of design elements. SO fun! I’ve also got three paintings to work on – one of which is a new client. So I’m dusting off the brushes and breaking out the canvas’. I’ve very excited.

I spent a good hour on my new hammock yesterday, laying with Penny reading one of my favorite children’s book, “Poppy and the Outdoors Cat.” I came inside only to receive a phone call from our agency. Apparently the judge in ET is kicking ass and taking names with regards to working through the many files on her desk. We should anticipate a MOWCYA date any day and the normal duration between being given a date and the actual date will be shortened, as well as the judge strongly pushing MOWCYA to have their positive letter  ready at that appointment so they can set a court date for our family a few days later. We can anticipate a court date as early as August 1st.

Say what?!?! I just changed my way of thinking. I just made peace with not traveling. I just got a hold on this. And just like that, changes. Oy vey!

So we’ll see what today brings. We’ll see if we’re given a date. We’ll see when it is and when our court date ends up being. There is a good chance I’m going to miss the kids first day of school. There is a good chance Jon is going to miss his first few days of Middle School. There is a good chance that our daughter will be in our arms soon. We will just have to see…

1 comment

H. - July 19, 2013 - 6:40 am

So sorry to hear about your grandmother, Annie. 🙁 Hope July holds nothing but good news for the rest of the month.

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